fiftyfreeandsingle

Count your blessings, that’s what a person needs to do? One of the unexpected benefits of suffering with Rheumatoid Arthritis is that I am convinced that I’ve had so many x-rays that I will soon not need to switch on the lights at night in the house as my body will begin to glow in the dark – thus saving on electricity bills & reducing my carbon footprint. 

Not walking very much at all means that I am unlikely to wear out any shoes and will therefore not need to spend money on new ones any time soon.

On top of that the lockdown means that even if I were healthy enough to get out and about – which I’m not there would be nothing much to do out there, so I do not suffer from F.O.M.O ( Fear of missing out ). 

I’ve deleted my Tinder account. To be honest I had only kept it because I couldn’t work out how to cancel  the darned thing, and though I wasn’t realistically going to date anyone given my general fucked upness with RA & the effects of the lockdown finding from time to time that an attractive woman gave me a ‘like’ was rather cathartic. Anyway the final straw was a like from the lovely Saskia, so right up my street, a couple of years younger than me, attractive, a film making left leaning luvvie from North West London. Were my limbs in working order it would be a different matter, but let’s be honest, I wouldn’t date me now, why would anyone else? 

So Saskia will never know that I fancied her nor that through an act of heroic selflessness that I saved her from me. All in all my departure from Tinder is for the good, mine and the fair ladies of London Town.

On the medical front my attempts to get to see the specialist at the Rheumatology clinic is developing into a long running saga where appointments are changed from in person to online & then fail to happen, I also get text messages aplenty advising me of changes to appointments, the record is three texts in one day for an appointment by phone that then never took place. 

I was also discharged for not attending an appointment that I was never told about in the first place. This resulted in having to re-register with the Rheumatology department and another two month delay. 

Again on the plus front and reading the posts on the RA website I’m encouraged to hear of so many different drugs being precscribed, I hope on day to sample at least some of them and most of all to find one or two that might actually do me some good. 

So its not all bad, but let me tell you I miss the sunshine, my skin misses the sunshine. Each time I hobble into the bathroom when I get out of bed I try not to get to scared at the apparition that looks back at me in the mirror:- pasty pale white skinned crazy man stares back. His hair reminds me of a fairground gonk, photo for illustrative purposes:-

With too much time to spend on the interweb I find on google that the average human bean sheds 35-40 kg of skin cells over a lifetime, as I’m larger than average mine must be more. Thats like eighty plus pounds of skin cells. I have to tell you that if I don’t get more mobile that I’m worried that my bedroom may become a skin cell depository and if nothing changes there will be sand dunes of the stuff that I have to wade through just going to bed. 

A haircut? Well I so need a haircut, and a good shave for that matter, I may resort to doing this myself, though the results are given my luck not going to be pretty. 

I read a little article on arthritis, not sure which imbecile wrote it, a sample reads:

The main thing to beat arthritis is to have a solid strategy. There is no one magic pill that cures everything. Do a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and before you know it, the pain is gone forever.

Solid strategy, yeah great, do suggest something, and as for a little bit of this and a little bit of that, well that’s all I can do you twonk, magic pills would be a fine thing, just get my rheumatologist to prescribe me some, I’d be happy.  & pain? Oh yes please, gone forever, that would suit me right down to my bones.