A for the apes we’ve been over time
B for for the brains misplaced down the line
C for the crazy ideas in our heads
D for the dicks we think with instead
E for eccentric, sounds better than mad
F is the fear of becoming your Dad.
G for gold, I’ve blown all mine
H for happiness drunk on wine
I for inches that grow round the waist
J for jezebels kissed in haste
K for the kilos of hash up in smoke
L for the ladies who’s hearts we broke
M for mornings hung over & rough
N for the noses now sprouting fluff
O for the ordinary man in the street
P for the pub where we usually meet
Q is for quiet, one day that would be nice
R for randy, with a taste for vice
S is simple, and stupid as well
T is for tits, couldn’t you tell?
U is for urgent, but then whats the rush?
V for viagra, in the chemist we blush
W for the weekend and time to chill
X for old lovers no longer a thrill
Y for yawns at the end of the day
Z’s the sounds as we snooze away