Advice for a Young Fellow

My Dear fellow, I am so pleased to hear you & that lovely woman have decided to make a go of being together. There are a few things I wanted to pass on to you, though I’m sure many people would say that I am the last person you should take advice from on relationships do me the favour of reading what I say, and take what you will, whatever seems to be of value.

A partnership with somebody you love & that loves you is really a special thing, some people spend their lives looking for it and it remains ever elusive so relish this opportunity, be open to what it brings. There will be joy & also plenty of challenges along the way, but it is the stuff life is made of.

Be present in the time you have together, time flows constantly, like a river making its way to the sea, always moving, through different landscapes, sometimes cascading through rocky stretches, sometimes gently meandering in deep flowing waters, soak in all you see along the way. Talk & listen in equal measure, talk about your dreams, listen to hers, do all that is in your power to make hers happen, do not forget yours in the process. Listening is very important, listen to her, in the process you will also learn much about yourself, and a little understanding carries a person a very long way. When it’s time for you to speak talk always from your heart, not from your head, heads are darned useful but the thoughts they come up with are never as sound as those from the heart.

Be brave, cultivate courage, you will need both these qualities as life has an unfailing ability to smack you in the face from time to time, it’s one of the few guarantees that you will find being here. Take the hits, learn from them what you can, and if they knock you off your feet, which is a distinct possibility, take a deep breath and get up again, you have to keep moving.

Remember to look up at the stars on clear nights, gazing into the heavens has a curious way of making us aware of the immensity of life, the wonder of being alive and at the same time keeping us connected to the earth under our feet. Take yourself into nature whenever you are able, the beauty of the wild moves a soul in a powerful way.

Did I say talk to your woman, well I’m going to repeat it, talk to your woman, about the important things, not the bills or the hassles, there will be plenty of time for that, talk about what moves you and her, about your desires and your hopes, about the things that scare you. & take her dancing, often, even if you have two left feet (try not to tread on hers)

Sunsets and sunrises, take time to watch them unfold, they will warm your heart and the memory of them will be there for you when it turns cold & wintery.

Remember birthdays & anniversaries, celebrate them, If you make enough money buy her precious jewels. If you don’t consider getting a loan.Sing her a song every once in a while, even if you are tone deaf.

Hug her a lot, especially after you argue ( believe me there will be more opportunities to do this than you can imagine now).When she cries if it is because of you then tell her you are sorry, if it’s because of something else entirely then listen and do your best to understand why, if you cannot then hug her anyway.

Have children if you can, being a parent is wonderful. Help them to grow ,to love life and to flourish, if your childhood was a bit shitty, then learn from it and give your children something better. Do this and it will bring you joy and help you find meaning in your own life.

Above all keep your heart strong & beating, through the good and the bad, through the indifferent, give your woman support when she needs it, space when she needs it, believe me both will be needed. Never shy away from speaking from your heart, it is the only real source of wisdom you will ever possess. Last of all strive to be the best you can, each day, whatever comes, life is short & the most prescious gift of all is your place in it.

I wish you the greatest of luck on your journey.


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