To Princess Tina Yak
From J.W. Hartley
Dear Princess,
I am emailing on the instructions of my Employer, Mr. Martin Rocket.
It is with great sadness that I must inform you that Mr.Martin passed away after surgery earlier today.
Mr.Martin was engaged in decorating the Guest wing of Brideshead for your stay on wednesday evening, unfortunately after an accident with a blow torch his garments and hair caught fire and he tumbled from the second floor balcony and was most gravely injured. Mr.Martin received the very best of medical attention at Holby City, one of Englands best known treatment centres, whilst initally we hoped that he would make a full recovery the cruel fates took away a good man.
Mr. Martin, ever the jolly fellow asked me to take a photo of him from his hospital bed only yesterday, I attach it here, his condition deteriorated and he paid the boatman at 11am today whilst under the knife.
Before he left us for the big fellow with the bushy beard upstairs he asked that I as his man-servant ensured that you were taken care of.
I am instructed inform you that on the wishes of Mr.Martin there remains for as long as you may need it a suite at Brideshead and that monies befitting a young lady of good standing, to aid in your education and upkeep are to be deposited into an account at Gringotts Bank, Diagonal Alley, London, a credit of £500,000.
The Account will be released as per the instructions of Mr.Martin, he very much wanted you to see his home Brideshead. The details, bank safe deposit keys and account authorisatioins are to be given to you on your arrival at Brideshead. I would recommend though that you take steps to collect at the earliest opportunity, keep it on the quiet, but his ex.wife Zelda can smell money at a hundred yards and she will be after your bequest like a rat up a drainpipe.
We are currently making funneral arrangements, I am sure Mr.Martin would want you to attend his farewell bash.
This is expected to be held on Thursday or Friday of next week, on the Estate, I shall confirm details shortly.
Finally, whilst I was an Employee of Mr.Martin I must say he was a lovely fellow, they dont make them like that anymore.
Your respectfully
J.W. Hartley esq.
Personal Assistant
fiftyfreeandsingle 
Martin! What a creative and funny mind that one of yours. I like to do the same to these kind of people. It reminds me of that occasion when some call center people called you to sell something and I started to talk about shoes. Sauli found it very funny. Well, I hope you find your ebony princess soon. xxxxx
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Thank-you Ludji, Yes I must admit I am rather enjoying the Spam diaries, there’s another on the way.
I do rather like the idea of an Ebony Princess, I will keep my eyes open…………..
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