Dating emails

To be honest, I’m not sure I am in a hurry to date, I still look at the Dating Website I joined from time to time, you never know, and sometimes its fun to play along. Here are a couple of emails I’ve sent and received recently.

Kristy 37 from Oprington :

Her Profile: for fun: well ….. i’ll try anything once – apart from Sauerkraut!!!! Lifes for living, your a long time sleeping. On a serious note – enjoy spending time with good people and making the most of every moment.

My Email: What’s the problem with Sauerkraut?
And if you will try anything once except Sauerkraut how can you tell that actually you don’t like it? You might find that it’s the thing that’s missing in your life?
I send you this mail as I am trying to widen my knowledge and comprehension of the opposite sex so that one day I make a really good boyfriend.

Please help by answering and giving me a leg up the ladder of understanding the female psyche.


To my chagrin Kristy never replied, we never got to sort out her Sauerkraut Psychosis, or I get any further in understanding women, both our loss in my book.

Sunshine 39, North London

I was winked at several times by “Sunshine”

As nothing else happened I emailed her.

Dear Sunshine, Very kind of you, you winked at me yesterday, then again today
though I did email you and got not reply. Now you’ve winked at me again.

I am wondering perhaps if you are a compulsive winker, or maybe you have a tick or a twitch and it’s involuntary, I like to understand things, so please help me, are you just the sort of women that winks compulsively at men? Or is it a medical condition maybe?

I hope to discover……………………..


Hi Martin It is difficult to write on the mobile as I cant see the whole text im writing!! And the winks are a mistake as I was pressing the wrong buttons:) I am not a compulsive winker:) speak soon

Hi Martin,
Thanks for your text.At the moment my computer broke down and it will take few days until its repaired.I have to rely on my mobile in sending messages but its difficult hence the two many winks! That was a mistake..I will get back to you with a proper reply as soon as I get my computer back.

Elenigri, 40 South London

Profile : Hello, looking to meet some new people to have some fun with (please don’t read ‘fling’) hopefully leading to something more meaningful…?   I’d describe myself as thoughtful, caring, feisty, loyal and reflective  ………Likes: music my tastes are varied but probably best represented by a Giles Peterson 6music playlist with some guitar based angst thrown in for good measure. Adore cooking and being cooked for…………………. Love: single (Islay) malt, music, exhibitions – photography and sculpture mainly, trees, open fires, Loake brogues, kindness, very dirty Martini’s, Curzon Soho and of course, Sushi… Dislike: ironing, rice pudding, dishonesty, milk and text speak!!!

Me: Hello Elenigri , I write in a state of confusion, could I spend time with a girl unable to enjoy rice pudding? I’ve thought it through, mulled it over and in my heart I believe I can cope with this. I have to say loudly though that I love Rice Pudding. If this is a deal breaker for you then I think it is only fair that you let me know now. I really cannot cope with the possibility of falling for you and then being dumped down the line because of my love of rice pudding. On the brighter side I guess at least I can say that whilst I do like milk that I am able to work with Soy or other Lacto-substitutes so the situation is far from hopeless.How do we move on from here?

Hey Martin,

Ha! Am glad that you got that off your chest.  Given that you are prepared to risk spending time with a self confessed rice pudding hater I felt the need to pause for a minute and consider the possible future…  Having carefully done so I can now say with a degree of confidence that yes I would be prepared to get to know you and no dumping would occur based on the aforementioned pudding preferences.  So no, not a deal breaker!  It’s best I tell you though that I don’t hate things with milk in them.  This may make it easier to move forward. The ironing solution sounds like a plan.  I’ve foolishly persevered with wrestling with the ironing board and I can now see a way out.  Thank you!


Me: Elenigri, I am sorry but now I realise this is all utter folly. I can never be with a woman that wrestles with ironing boards, it’s over between us. I am sorry, but that’s the way it is.

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