You must not fear, hold back, count or be a miser with your thoughts and feelings. It is also true that creation comes from an overflow, so you have to learn to intake, to imbibe, to nourish yourself and not be afraid of fullness. The fullness is like a tidal wave which then carries you, sweeps you into experience and into writing. Permit yourself to flow and overflow, allow for the rise in temperature, all the expansions and intensifications. Something is always born of excess: great art was born of great terrors, great loneliness, great inhibitions, instabilities, and it always balances them.
These are words from Anais Nin, they strike a chord with me, after a period of introspection when I’ve gone inwards, hidden away, I’m just ready to say f*ck it all, I know where I am, I know what I am, it doesn’t matter, none of all the shit in my head matters, its there, I’m not dealing with it too well, but it does not matter. I’m really not cut out to hide away and be a timid, quiet man. I do really wear my heart on my sleeve, I have a big mouth, sometimes I say what I think and don’t consider the consequences. I am no good at being a player, at manipulating people to my advantage, to be honest I just don’t get off on it, it ain’t me. But I do have a lust for life, for love, for learning, for living and I’ve spent too long being a quiet and timid man in the shadows. F*ck it all, its time i was myself, warts and all.
The sun will shine regardless of me, i can sit inside and feel like shit or I can go outside and feel the sun on my face. Thats not even a choice is it, sunshine it is.