My Menage a Trois

After returning from a sojurn in Rajasthan I came back to an Eastern whirlwind, a few days later I am in a Menage a Trois.

Firstly lets deal with the whirlwind, lets call her Ms.X from Hungary, an old friend who came to stay for a couple of days and in this short space of time managed in her own inimitable and unique way to create utter havoc. Bless Ms.X she’s one of a kind, the kind that makes you want to run for immediate acute physcological care when you spend any length of time with her. I had prepared myself, told myself that this time I would let her madness wash over me and I would remain calm and serene, I failed utterly & entirely. I had her company but two days, it felt a lot longer, when it was time for her to leave she roused me a at 5am and enrolled me in her final departure countdowm, it took an hour and a half. Having said that during her stay I learnt valuable life tools – that the only place to buy the right form of ecological hair-dye at just before 10pm on a weekday is Wholefoods, that if i cared to peruse it there is a very informative website which gives a master-class on clittoral massage ( I will obtain the link if anyone feels the need ). Ms.X cooked me a lovely dinner, I never really had too much of that even whilst married, its rather nice, maybe in another life I will be re-incarnated as a husband who is cooked for, is that progression or a regression ? Progress me thinks.

Ms. X left me various packages to be collected at a date unspecificed by freight-forwarders, other items to be stored, most of all she left me, relieved…………………..

Fast forward to Friday and i am getting excited, my Menage a Trois begins. I am through February living in a threesome.

Before you think i am heading into some kinky sex game territory, let me explain clearly and unequivocally that there is no sex involved, I am using menage in the french housework sense, my latest guests are male, a couple and of a different persuasion to my own, sexually speaking. Vitaly & Rinaldo, newly weds are venturing off to Russia but are staying with me for a month before their departure, why am i so delighted? Well, Rinaldo likes things a certain way, lets say he is a fellow of standards, and frankly my house as it stands doesnt measure up. I have to be honest let it go, housework is not on my agenda, but the lovely Rinaldo, he’s coming to stay and is bringing his own cleaner, how good is that?

If you had ever told me back in the day that two gay men sleeping in my house would get me excited I’d have called you a liar and punched you on the nose, but i have evolved, I do like gay men, they are such good fun and for the most part dont talk about football, which is such a relief.

What else will Rinaldo and Vit bring to my home, well a little noise, lots of laughter and i can sneak to the back doorstep and smoke with Vit, maybe this is a good time to have a few last puffs with a puff before its time to give fags the heave-ho. I’ve been smoking since being single, why i dont know but I just thought WTF, it felt better than non prescription drugs or booze as substance abuse. But its time to get healthy again.

I suppose also i cannot help but mention that this will be the first weekend in quite a while where there is not a woman in the background, thats not a bad thing, I have spent a lot of time with women lately, lovely, lovable women, but I have to admit that its meant I have not focussed on all the other things I need to do. Inevitably though this is just a weekend womanless, I see myself as being like one of those insects in a room with a bug zapper, I am drawn to the light, I cannot help myself, and then ZAP, its all over…………………… Anyway we all have to go sometime, its the way I want to go. On my gravestone I was once told by a friend that I would have inscribed ” I told you i was ill”, I think I would prefer ” Died old, loved, knackered and happy”
I intend dedicating my life to this end goal.

This weekend I am heading to Cambridge, to see my son on stage at the University Theatre, one of my favourite things to do, I will stay in the City with friends who are the best and I miss seeing, I intend taking my son for Breakfast on Sunday morning, Carluccios sunday morning eggs are his favourite, I will buy him food for his student kitchen ( Waitrose darling, only the best for my baby ) and I will feel like a good father for an entire weekend.
Whatever your weekend entails I wish you the best from it.


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