What a ride I am on, this last weekend, after a period of being on a bit of a downer a whole new experience.
I was expecting little from my weekend, a few plans, no real expectations of how they would pan out, in fact on Friday afternoon I was feeling the worse for wear with an arthritis flare up, I had even contemplated just going home from work and crashing out and doing nothing, but I prevailed, pushed myself along and then the ride began. And, guess what, I have had nothing short of the best few days I can remember, every moment has been just fantastic, I’ve wittered about everything under the sun, I’ve talked, I’ve shared, I’ve listened and I’ve spent time with people who’s company I found just brilliant. I’ve crammed more into these few short days than in many and it’s been a delight, if I have days like these just occasionally then life is simply wonderous.
There was such a lot going on, but one moment encapsulates it all for me.
I was standing on a Jetty at Whitstable, as far out towards the sea as I could without going in, it was blowing a gale, spray coming off the water and a biting wind, I turned in to face the full force, it was almost powerful enough to push me off my feet, and when that wind flew at me it felt like it blew away all the discomfort that I have manged to saddle myself with, in just a minute or two it was is if I’d had a set of chains ripped off and that I was free, it was such a great feeling I can’t really find adequate words, but I think you get the general idea.
I must sound like a real drama queen, but after months of soul-searching and introspection for me this is just a new place, I feel more alive than I can remember feeling at anytime in my life, and frankly I like the view very much. I’m almost afraid to write these words in case its just a flash in the pan, a blip and I head back down again, my lesson is to learn that life can have periods of bliss and joy when it all just seems to work like a dream, and then accept that this is just part of a never-ending circle, that it will inevitably change, problems will come which I will need to deal with, and there will be days when I don’t feel positive just around the corner, but knowing and understanding that its all a constant change and more good days are out there, as well as those that will challenge is so exciting, bring it on.
Other changes also, I was getting a little concerned about my weight, from obese to normal was great, but its still been going down, but remarkably after a long period of really not wanting to eat I have my appetite back, and I am hungry.
Most interestingly of all, my arthritis seems to have tailed off massively over a few days, it would make such a difference if this is the shape of things to come, a few times now I’ve heard or been told in round-about ways that illnesses like this can be triggered by or exacerbated by stress, so maybe just maybe if conversely I’m in a good place and happy the whole nastiness of Arthritis might do me a favour and sling its hook, or at least downsize to a level that I can work with and get on with my life.
Now that’s a whole lot of positives from where I’ve been before.