Mea Culpa, I am a liar

Right lets get it over and done with, I lied, I lied to myself I lied to you, I said I was done with internet dating, that I wasnt ready for a woman, I wasnt going to do it anymore, that it was a waste of time, well I’ve gone right back on my words.

Back on the dating trail, after telling myself I was going to give it a break, that I was in no rush to find a woman, that it would happen when it happens, I was talking bull.

Who was I kidding? I need a woman, pure and simple. Why? Well I could give you some convoluted explanation, but its just all about wanting, wanting to be wanted and wanting to want, if that makes sense. I get that if I was really together then a woman wouldn’t be important or necessary for me, but you know what, I am not that man, I miss the touch of a woman, I want the softness, I even want to be told I’m a scruffy pig sometimes, that I snore in bed, I want to feel a woman in my arms and I want to feel fancied. And, to be honest I just dont rate sleeping alone.

Am I hopeless case, quite probably, but there are worse ways to go. One woman will do, I’m not greedy, just one that fancies that pants of me, (ideally literally) and one I can reciprocate with in due kind.

Tonight I am seeing Ms. X from Harrow, 46, of Italian ancestry, I am a sucker for dark long hair, a dark complexion and curves. I’ve decided to give it a go, company cheers me up a whole lot, a pretty woman best of all and I need a little of that. In the background is Ms.Y From Surrey, another dark and sultry type who’s away for a couple of days but keen to meet up, oh and I forgot Ms.Z from Twickenham way, similarly dark and lovely. So I may have been fooling myself, but at least I am consistant, I have a type that I’m always drawn to, I have no idea why, but if Claudia Schiffer or a blonde blue eyed supermodel begged me to bed them and next to them stood an equally avaliable woman of five foot something, with a pretty face, a curvy body, and eyes, deep dark brown or green eyes, that I loose myself in, and long dark curly hair, Claudia would be shown that door in no time………………. OK OK so its not likely to happen, but I use it as an illustration of my preference, dont ask me why, but dark & curvy please. Oh, sorry, one last thing on the wish list, heels please, its got to be heels.

Today I read in the Huffington Post that it takes up to two years to get over a broken relationship, other people have told me to expect it to take a month per year of the relationship, so all sounds similar, I’m screwed ’til some time in 2015 then, that’s just dandy. I really would like  to fast track the lousey way I’ve been feeling, but if it’s not possible then at least maybe some dating will take off the edge and if I make sure the dates are interesting and we get out and about, see stuff, have fun, then it cannot be a bad thing. It will certainly beat sitting at home with my nose in a book telling me I need to cleanse my Chakras or that until I sort out my aura I’m going nowhere. And who knows maybe, just maybe I might click and meet Ms.Wright, or Ms.Wrong, or perish the thought Ms. Naughty.

I shall keep you informed………………………

PS Note to self, pop to the shops before date, buy Deodarant, Listerine, Chewing Gum, Condoms? no not yet lets leave it for the moment, feels to pre-meditated.

PSS Have also decided that I’m not doing enough, so as well as getting back to the Dating, the Gym, ( have a six-pack on order, expected delivery is February ) I am going to set myself a few little tasks over the next few weeks, just little things to keep me busy and a little more challenged, I will let you know how it went.

7 Things to do:-

1) Do one thing each day I have avoided, because it’s unpleasant, boring or challenging.

2) If I am in the street, or a cafe or a public place and I see a woman that I think is really beautiful, I am going to walk up to her and tell her exactly that. Not for any ulterior motive other than it sounds like fun.

3) If I come across somebody who seems to be in trouble or having a problem I will stop and help them.

4) If I come into contact with somebody I have a problem with I will tell them exactly why, not cover it up or gloss over.

5) Each day I will do at least one thing just for myself, that makes me feel happy even if it is self-indulgent.

6) Each day I am going to get in touch with an old friend that i’ve not spoken to in a long time, I am going to tell them I miss not seeing them and find out how they are.

7) Likewise each day I am going, one way or another to make contact with one person I’ve never spoken to before and learn about them and what they do and a little about their life.

Does that sound like a plan?


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